Matches are made in heaven. But they are broken on earth. Divorces are becoming increasingly common now-a-days. Couples separate over trivial issues like working all the time and devoting less time to family or even snoring at night. Divorce can be emotionally very tiring for couples. Very often both men and women find themselves losing trust in members of the opposite sex in general. They turn cynics and tend to loose faith and trust in general.
An annual study in the UK by management consultants Grant Thornton, estimates the main proximal causes of divorce based on surveys of matrimonial lawyers.
The main causes in 2004 were:
- Extra-marital affairs - 27%
- Emotional/physical abuse – 17%
- Mid-life crisis – 13%
- Addictions – 6%
- Workaholism – 6%
If divorce is painful for you two, it is even more for the kids. For them both their mummy and daddy are standing at a pedestal which is equal to each other. For them nobody is better than the other. The fact that they have to stay with either of them and visit the other one only on weekends is quite traumatic for them. Children whose parents are going through a divorce have issues with their self esteem and tend to avoid people and are always angry with their life. They become shy and tend to stick around with their own siblings or alone. They feel torn between their mother and father whom they love equally and dearly. Some of the symptoms a child who has been affected by a divorce might show are large amounts of anger, directed both toward others and themselves
- Tendency to break rules
- substance abuse
- destructive behavior
- frequent guilt pangs
- problems with obedience as in defiance
- increasing isolation or withdrawl from friends and family
- thoughts of suicide or violence
- increased or early sexual activity
- a failure to behave responsibly
Though children from divorced families may experience more major psychological and behavioral problems than children in intact families, one can still avoid them if proper planning is done. Divorce does not happen all of a sudden. As a responsible parent do not lie to your children. Break the news of you both going your own ways gently to the child. Reassure him that you both will always be there for him and he will remain the topmost priority in your life.
My parents just got divorce last year and i got told before my birthday i’m a little bit affected and i’m 16 right now but i feel for my little sister because she’s only 10 and need to see this stupid thing and now are life is ruining because i cant go out i need to see my sister or father cant watch it its really stressfull.
When a couples gets into a divorce, the most affected party will be their children so parents must think about it first if it’s worth ruining their kids’ life and growth just to get separated. It is also imperative for them to talk about their issues and problems first before separating for good.